i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
