RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize