im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
