yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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