can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
