you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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