Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize