I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
being pregnant is like rehab
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
