Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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