Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
