apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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