I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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