Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
