We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
