So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
