You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize