I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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