she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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