You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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