Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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