I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She bit a glass in half.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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