it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Are we still banned from the library?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
