whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He shit in the fireplace
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
