dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
