I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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