fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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