ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
