i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
