Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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