Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
