Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
