It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
