i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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