paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
