His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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