Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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