yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
