just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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