Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
