He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
