I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
