Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
