he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
