I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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