roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
