susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize