im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
