Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
