tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
