none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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