but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
