i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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