And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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