I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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