Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
