he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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