You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.