U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.