i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.