Duck Duck Cougar?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?