i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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