I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
