She said her name was "party"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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