...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
