does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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