I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
