Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
