we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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